Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
