he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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