So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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