it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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