This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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