he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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