I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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