Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
