YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
