will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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