when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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