Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
