Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I need to sanitize my soul.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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