I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
