I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
