why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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