I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
