i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
