Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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