She said her name was "party"
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
