took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Randomize
