East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
