she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
