I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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