Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
