No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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