Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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