so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
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