I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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