worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
