And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
