I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
