Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
