When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
