I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
