This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
