Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
