a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
