is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
