i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
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