Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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