And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
