I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Be still, my beating vagina.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
