maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
