I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He better not be in your backpack
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
