so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
