dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
