69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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