If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
