I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
