no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
