the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
